D.C. Wildlife

The Must-Read Field Guide to D.C. Wildlife

Business Professionals - This species is best observed during rush hour before and after its many specimens disappear into air conditioned office buildings to spend the day confined to cubicles. From Yuppies to distinguished career men and women, this species is always in a hurry.

Cyclists - These bi-wheeled daredevils weave perilously between poles, pedestrians, and vehicles. It is not uncommon for business-suited cyclists to be observed pedaling their way to or from work with pant legs tucked neatly into socks.

Fireflies and Rabbits - These native species are quite abundant in the suburbs around D.C. Fireflies make their presence known each evening with their flourescent internal spotlights. Rabbits can be seen in both the mornings and the evenings and are most often seen in community with their family members.

Police Officers - This abundant species lurks in many expected and unexpected places. It is common for police officers to park their vehicles on wide sidewalks.

Runners - These sweaty bipeds are usually seen moving quickly along sidewalks, on bikepaths, or through parks. Each individual runner has his or her own unique gait. D.C. runners are unperturbed by infernally hot and humid weather.

School Groups - These conglomerations of minors are often visible near monuments, memorials, or museums. Usually chaperoned by harried adults, school groups are known to block traffic, talk obnoxiously loud, care nothing for respect of others, and take no interest in the valuable life lessons and experiences their leaders are attempting to provide for them.

Tourists - These wandering bi-peds have several identifying field marks. First, they are dressed quite casually compared to the working professionals around them. Second, they wander around somewhat aimlessly while attempting to find the perfect places on the sidewalk to pause and block the traffic of everyone around them who already knows where they are going. Third, they never can remember to stand on the right side of the escalator in order to allow those in a hurry to walk/run up the left side. Fourth, ...cameras.

Dog Walkers - Seen at any time of day or night, this species is equally present in urban and suburban areas. The human masters are tethered to their dear pets and follow their canines obediently, progressing at widely varying speeds.

If I am missing an important species from this list of D.C. wildlife, please don't hesitate to suggest additions.